Lindsay Lohan Mania

After the events of last night, no self-respecting blogger could avoid the requisite "Lindsay Lohan is out of control" post. So I've decided to split this one into a few parts. It's best for all parties involved. Trust me.

1. The scoop- The degree to which Lindsay Dee Lohan is out of control is unspeakable. Before all of the madness that went down early Tuesday morning, that statement was true. But now... She's seriously lost it! While the details are still slowly coming together, the consensus is that La Lohan was involved in some sort of drug-fueled, drunken car chase involving a former assistant and the assistant's mother. The cops were called, Linds failed a field sobriety test, was arrested, booked, and subsequently charged with bringing an illegal substance (cocaine) into a jail facility.

What's more is that all of this comes just under 3 weeks after Lindsay's 21st birthday and her release from the Promises rehab facility.

2. The Mugshot- Take a look at the photo. Really look at it. Is this not a cry for help? Also, a cry for eye drops, but mostly a cry for serious help. This picture captures Linds' extreme intoxication, but also a moment where she realizes that this isn't a movie, it's not some well-put-together photo shoot--she's totally stripped of her starlet status that protects her from reality. She's being booked for yet another DUI.

3. The Preachy Moral Appraisal-
3a. Why does someone not just go ahead and close Promises??? It clearly has not worked for any of its clients (Britney, anyone?)!! The state should either shut it down or turn it into a nightclub.

3b. Lindsay better have a really, really, really good explanation for why just two weeks out of rehab she thought it would be acceptable to drive drunk, engage in a car chase, do drugs, and drive on a suspended license. Sometimes I think I should start 'turning my life around;' from the way Linds and Paris make it look, it seems like a drunken good time.

3c. Michael and Dina Lohan- WHERE THE EFF ARE YOU!? Quit talking to ET, Extra, and TMZ, and talk to your obviously troubled daughter! And while you're parenting, never let little Ali Lohan record an album again.

Someone send this chick back to rehab. Get well soon, Linds.