Baby Mania

Take a look at this list right here, and tell me what you see:

Matthew McConaughey, Jessica Alba, Nicole Richie, David Spade, Jodie Sweetin, Alessandra Ambrosio, Jessica Sierra, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Nicole Kidman, Britney Spears, and Halle Berry.

No, that isn't a list of people planning to get high behind the middle school later, it's a list of people who are set to become parents in the next 9 months. Yes, that's right all of the above people were Hollywood delinquents or scandals at one time or another and they're all about to be parents. The horror.

Have all of the condoms and contraceptives in the world staged a mass exodus from Hollywood? Is there super sperm in the water? Scratch that, celebs don't drink tap water. They're probably adding a double shot of fertility in with everyone's lattes and frapps at Starbucks. Someone stop the madness! Tyra, Dr. Phil, anyone! Someone hit Robertson armed with rubber gloves and craft scissors and get to snipping! There is no way this planet will be safe with the spawns of Matthew McConaughey and David Spade among others roaming around high and shirtless.

The world ain't safe! I'm telling you, this is not going to end well. Either these kids are going to band together and put Casey Worthington to shame or Brangelina's brood is about to get twelve kids deeper.

A word to the wise: If you live in the Western portion of this country, run. Run for your life. It's about to get ugly! Don't say I didn't warn you.